Ok I need to delete Loadout content from my computer.
Hopefully it will stop my over-playing.
I need a world, not a game. Somewhere to inhabit that won't inhabit me. I don't want an instant dopamine hit, a drug. I want a reality, a story. Something to inspire me. I'm too old for stupid games. Feel like I'm short on time these days. I ought to at least spend my time playing something I know I'll look back on fondly.
I think Loadout will now only be defined by the first week of Easter holiday 2014, in which I played an insane amount. It was fun, kind of.
Weird - when coming off SSRIs, I feel the usual buzzes, but when I play a high-intensity shooting game like Loadout, it completely goes.
Literally, the moment I shut down the game - boom. Head buzzes.
I guess maybe it's to do with being tired too or something, but I think it's because the reward system is activated very quickly in that game and my brain is like "oh cool! This is just like anti depressants!" then it ends and it's like, "oh."